Hyunjoong repeated again. The only word he managed to croak out after what Hwangbo told him. He rushed to her apartment that night when his schedule ended. He wanted to surprise her. It's been weeks since he last saw her. He expected Hwangbo to be happy and jumping in joy to see him, instead a pale looking woman with teary eyes greeted him at the door. He was surprised and thought that something bad must have happened to bother his buin. "It's a good thing I came at the right time to accompany her," he thought. He brought her to the couch immediately and sat down beside her, waiting for her to talk and share with him.
However, his world came tumbling down in the next few minutes with the first words that came out from her mouth.
"Let's break up."
Hyunjoong was momentarily stunned. He did not expect this at all. He looked at Hwangbo silently, asking for a explanation. His heart felt immense pain. When Hwangbo did not respond, he asked in a whisper.
Hwangbo fidgeted at the couch. Her heads down, unable to look at the man in front of her. She did not know that Hyunjoong will be coming tonight. She had missed him terribly this past few weeks and that leads to her thinking about their future. Can she afford to keep on waiting every night for her doorbell to ring or keep on checking her phone for any calls and messages? She was not confident in holding Hyunjoong beside her forever. He is after all, the top star.
She started to recall back their past memories from filming WGM, Hyunjoong confessed to her after it ended, she accepted it and started going out. It had been fun and enjoyable during the first 3 months. They met whenever they have time. Though busy, Hyunjoong would tried to make some time for her. However, his workloads had been increasing day by day along with his popularity. Soon, they seldom see each other and only talk through the phone.
Hwangbo had reached her limit and poured out her feelings that night. When she saw Hyunjoong standing at her door, panting, she made her decision. A decision that will hurt both of them.
Hyunjoong squeezed her hand slightly when Hwangbo still did not respond. He can see that her mind had been flying somewhere else.
She looked at him, her heart ached. She loved this man a lot but she knew that it was the right thing to do. It's for the both of us.
"I can't do this any more. I don't know what I'm waiting for."
"What you mean?"
"I've been thinking a lot this few days."
Hyunjoong dreaded her next words.
"About our future." She continued.
"And I don't see it. Our future is all dark, Hyunjoong."
Hyunjoong shook his head. He saw their future, a beautiful wife and four children. They are a happy family. His tears started streaming down, while holding Hwangbo's hand tightly. He didn't want to part with her.
"Buin, I need you beside me. I love you."
"I love you too, Shillang. But love is not enough. I am not secured and I don't know how long should I wait anymore." Hwangbo said, wanting him to understand what is their problem.
"I know I'm wrong. I did not accompany you often. You've got to understand, I'm working hard to earn money. For you, for us."
He knew that he had been neglecting her. But, he had such a packed schedule that he was worn out by the end of the day. He didn't even have enough sleeping time, let alone some time to see her. Hyunjoong thought that Hwangbo will understand. He didn't know that all this time, she had been keeping it all to herself. And to call himself, her boyfriend.
"It's not your fault. We shouldn't start this relationship from the beginning. It only bring pain to both of us. Eunee unni was right, you're too young for me." Hwangbo said, recalling her conversation with the Infinity Girls members a few days ago. They were worried for her as she had lost her cheerful and bubbly self.
Hyunjoong started to grow angry. So this is the problem? She rather listen to the others than believing in him? Suddenly, he felt hatred towards the noonas. They had been no help to their relationship at all. Hwangbo had always been worried about their age gaps and they made it worse.
"Why did you listen to what others said? I'm young but I'm still capable to support you and provide you whatever you want." His voice started to get louder. He felt unfair.
"It's not money I'm chasing after. I just need someone who can be with me when I need him. Who can lend his shoulder to me when I'm tired. Who I can talk and share my day with him."
Hwangbo knew she was selfish saying this, but this is what she want. She regret accepting Hyunjoong in the first place just for a short moment of blissfulness.
"Just give me some time. And-" A desperate voice from Hyunjoong.
"Till when?" Hwangbo shouted. She was tired from all these, dealing with her feelings and Hyunjoong's too.
"I'm already 30, Hyunjoong. I'm old." That's not true. You're still breathtakingly beautiful, Hyunjoong argued in his heart.
"Buin....." Hyunjoong held her face. He didn't know how to comfort her. He was not good with words. So many things he wanted to tell Hwangbo, how he loved her with all his heart, that no other women can replace her place and how he will not survive without her. He only wished for her to change her mind.
Hwangbo took his hand. This would be last time both of them can be so close together. She was not sure whether they can remain as friends after this. She would fell all over him again. His touch, his face, his voice, his 4D remarks; she would definitely missed.
"Don't do this to me, buin. I can't afford to lose you." Hyunjoong pleaded but he knew that Hwangbo will not easily change her mind once she decided on something no matter how hard or painful it was.
"Choose one, me or your career." Hwangbo said sternly.
"This is not fair to me. Both are equally important."
"Career that is. Call me selfish or anything. I don't want to be a burden to you and block your success. You deserve someone better." Her eyes watered again.
"I don't want anyone else. It's you that I want." Hyunjoong shouted, frustrated. He shook Hwangbo, hoping to wake her up and come to her sense.
"Just leave. It's better for both of us." Her voice, soft and weak.
Hyunjoong stopped. He couldn't believed that they will come to this end.
"Hye Jung, I..."
"Just leave!!!" She cried out.
Hyunjoong stood up. He looked at the crying Hwangbo. She still looked so beautiful. He would wait until she calmed down then only talked again about this matter. He walked to the door and turned around.
"I'll not give up. I love you." He said softly and left.
That night, Hyunjoong went back to the dorm drunk, throwing things around and breaking the glasses, waking up the members who were deep asleep. On the other side, Hwangbo cried herself to sleep wondering if she had made the right decision.